I and myself

I remembered that I always took up a militaristic mindset when I struggled to achieve something. I would wage war against myself. Pushing myself through clearly uncomfortable situations. Pulling all-nighters while hissing and grumbling like a madman. Trying to jam as much information into my mind. Trying hard to finish the seemingly never-ending tasks. Sleepless, tired and battered. The wars waged on. Oftentimes resulting in my defeat against myself. In between periods of intense firefights, whenever possible, a nervous peace would be held. Sheltering in my place. Delving into meaningless trivia and entertainment. Until a sudden provocation, usually from a third-party, left me with no choice other than a strong response, and I had to leave for war again; oh, anxiety, what a terribly useless feeling you are.

From my simple reflections, I observed that I don't have to wage war to do tasks and obtain satisfaction from doing them. I have to be myself, since I am nothing more than myself, and I am enough for myself. I smiled then said to myself "I will no longer wage war against myself, I call for a permanent truce". With a good feeling rushing down my spine, I went up the stairs to the fourth floor and entered my place.